Friday, October 15, 2010
As we waited I had this overwhelming feeling that something wasn't right as we have always seen and heard a heartbeat. I immediately prayed that whatever news we heard, God would be there to comfort us. I really just thought that maybe she wasn't growing as good and that we might have to have them early since we had discussed possible things that can warrant earlier delivery. When the doctor came in, she said, "I have some bad news." Immediately my heart sank. She said, "Baby B doesn't have a heartbeat and has passed away." At first they said it was Nathan, but I knew Baby B was Alexis. We were in limbo for a minute, but we found out it was definitely Alexis.
I immediately cried uncontrollably. I was completely overwhelmed with grief. I have to say that in the 9 years I have known Lee, I have maybe seen him shed a few tears a handful of times. To say he was overcome with grief is an understatement. We discussed going ahead and delivering Nathan. I will say that even though I was overwhelmed and my heart ached, I knew that God had His hands on Nathan and that everything would be great with him. Lee and I called our family and wept in the room until we could compose ourselves enough to leave and head home to get our stuff so we could head to the hospital.
We got to the hospital and they monitored Nathan and he was doing great - great heartbeat, very active. They scheduled my c-section for roughly 5:00pm since I had something to eat at 9:00am. The c-section went beautifully. I kept focusing on Scriptures that were encouraging. It took a while since I have had a c-section before and had a good amount of scar tissue, but at 5:45pm I heard the greatest sound in the world, Nathan crying. Immediately came the tears. At that point I was still hoping and praying that maybe the tech was wrong and I would hear my precious Alexis cry. Needless to say, I didn't. The nurse came and told me that Alexis was beautiful and looked just like Nathan. Lee brought Nathan over to me and I got to love and kiss on him. He is so beautiful and I believe he looks just like Daddy's baby pictures. I opted not to see Alexis at that time as I knew that would be too much to handle while still finishing up my c-section.
We got everything finished up and I went to my room under the impression that Nathan would be in the NICU until 10:00pm (4 hours for observation). Well, he was doing so great that he came out in about an hour. I was thrilled. I couldn't wait to hold and kiss him. Lee and I had some time with him and then Luke came in and then family came in in groups. It was amazing having this precious heathy baby boy and enjoying him with our family.
Lee and I wanted to see Alexis and hold her and let our family have some time with her before we sent her to the morgue, but she didn't look good and it was too much for me to take, so I only saw her for a quick second and they went ahead and took her. I want to remember her from the sweet ultrasound pictures and active kicks in my belly for the past 35 weeks. They did give us a box with her footprints and some of her special items (blanket, hat, bracelets). I know we will cherish it forever.
Nathan did really well. We worked on nursing, pumping, making bottles, and getting into a routine (every 3 hours) while we were in the hospital. We got to come home on October 5th and it was really nice. It was so tough leaving the hospital with only one baby. Seeing Alexis' empty carseat and the double stroller in the van was almost too much for me to take. It just felt so wrong. When we got home and I had to go in the nursery for things, it broke my heart seeing all of her stuff (especially her name on the wall).
Physically I did great this time. I wasn't in labor for 26 hours this time so that helped. I recovered quickly which I know was an answer to prayer because I had asked God to heal my physically ASAP since I had so much to deal with emotionally.
We had a funeral service for Alexis on Friday, October 8th. It was beautiful but heartbreaking. I cried uncontrollably the entire time. It was almost too much to take. I was thankful I had Lee, Luke, Nathan, and my mom to hold onto during the service. So many wonderful friends and family attended and had such kind words for us. That made it more bearable. Our pastor did a great job and he shared some great letters that my mom, my mother-in-law, and I wrote. Lee's cousin sang "The Old Rugged Cross" and a sweet girl from church sang "I Will Carry You." It was just perfect.
On Sunday, my mom, Lee, and I went through all of Alexis' stuff and boxed it all up. We put a lot away in case God blesses us with another daughter down the road, but some of the things personal to her (her coming home outfit, special blankets, special stuffed animals) went into an "Alexis Box". It was so hard. I cried the whole time. It just felt so wrong to be putting that stuff away. We worked fast and got it all done in a couple of hours. The nursery looked so empty when we were finished. It still feels so wrong.
This week was a lot calmer since it was just Lee, Luke, Nathan, and me. We are getting into a routine. Nathan eats at 8, 11, 2, 5, 8, 11, 2, 5. He is getting good at nursing, but I am still pumping for some supplementation and to store for later. He gained back some weight at his check-up on Wednesday (October 13th). He weighed 5 lbs 8 oz. We are enjoying him so much. He sleeps all the time. We have to wake him for feedings sometimes (which is common for premies). He loves to be held and rocked and I happily do it because he should have been in my tummy for 5 more weeks and I believe he misses his sister.
It's been a whirlwind of emotions, highs and lows, ups and downs. I think I've experienced every emotion there is in the past two weeks. We are going through the best and worst time in our lives. It's hard to explain.
We've just been so blessed that friends and family call, write, encourage, pray, and bring meals. It makes it so much better. I can't imagine going through this without our friends and family. More importantly, I really can't imagine going through this without God. He hasn't left, forgotten, or forsaken us. He has a perfect plan and will even if we don't understand it all. I know Alexis Faith is in heaven and that we will all be together again. That is the hope that I cling to. God will heal our broken hearts, give us peace and comfort, and strengthen us for each day, each hour, each minute. He is ever present in our lives. To Him be the glory, honor, and praise.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
We got there and I got a picture of Luke and his cousin, Emma, in front of the entranceway.
My sister, Jennifer, my brother-in-law, Chris, my neice, Emma (4), and my nephew, Logan (2), on the hayride.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The place was awesome. The whole office was a jungle theme, including tiki looking stuff on the walls. Each area had a jungle-themed name (like the conference room was called "Tribal Council". How cute. They had Madagascar playing and a ton of stuffed animals and toys. When we were called back, each chair had a tv above it with Madagascar playing. Luke got to wear jungle sunglasses to not hurt his eyes from the bright light. The hygienist was so great with him. She told him what to expect and offered rewards for each step.
When we got to the teeth cleaning, he was offered an array of flavors to pick from. He chose cookie dough which sounded disgusting to me, but he liked it (so much he was licking while she was cleaning). She flossed his teeth for the first time and instructed me as to how to do it for him. He got a sticker and then it was time for x-rays.
He was a champ during the x-rays. They had to try a bunch of times to get one and he kept letting them. I was a proud momma. He got to get another sticker. Then we met with the dentist. She was awesome as well and had the best teeth I've ever seen (go figure, right). She said the tooth that he hit on the tub a couple of years ago was totally fine. She said his 6 year molars were showing up and he would have them early, which doesn't surprise me since he's always cut teeth fast and early. She said to continue brushing like we have been and start flossing and to come back in 6 months. Then Luke got to go to the treasure chest and got a parachute toy.
Overall it was an awesome visit and I felt better when they assumed it was his first visit as I guess most kids go at 4-5 years old. They even took a "first visit photo" to commemorate the occasion. I still want to be on the ball with his check-ups so he stays healthy and has good hygiene.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Last night we had turkey pepperoni, ground turkey, turkey bacon, and a variety of peppers. I usually like to have onions and pineapple as well, but I wasn't motivated to go back to the grocery store.
Here are some pics:
Lee making his pizza
Luke trying to toss his dough (he really got into it)
Luke putting on the sauce
Luke putting on his toppings (he made a smily face out of turkey pepperoni)
Top - Luke's - 1/2 turkey pepperoni, 1/2 turkey bacon
Bottom Left - Lee's - 3/4 turkey pepperoni, turkey bacon, and ground turkey, 1/4 turkey pepperoni and peppers
Bottom Right - Ashley's - 1/2 turkey pepperoni, turkey bacon, and ground turkey, 1/2 turkey pepperoni and peppers
They were sooooo yummy and we had a ton of leftovers. It is so much fun to do this and a fraction of the cost of one pizza from takeout. If I had to guess the cost, I would say less than $5.00 for all of them. 50c for the dough, 50c for the sauce, $1.00 for the cheese, $1.50 for the turkey pepperoni, 10c for the turkey bacon, $1.00 for the ground turkey, and 25c for the peppers.
Luke and I have gone to the pool a good amount, but not like we normally do (the past couple of summers we've gone at least 3 days a week). Each time has shown me how much bigger/more uncomfortable I am getting. Our last pool visit for the summer was on Monday. It proved to be too much for me and summer is winding down anyways.
We've had a lot of fun just hanging around the house. Luke is really getting good at coloring, painting, and crafts. ;) We play and I do a few things around the house and relax. It's been really nice. Although I feel bad that we can't do everything we normally do, we are all making the best of it. It's really been a fun summer overall. We are looking forward to Fall and our babies coming. :)
Friday, July 16, 2010
Nathan (Baby A) was 1 lb 8 oz (3 oz bigger than the average singleton at this point) and had a heartbeat of 143. He is also head down and very far down and will probably stay that way (not that it matters as I am having a c-section).
Alexis (Baby B) was 1 lb 10 oz (5 oz bigger than the average singleton at this point) and had a heartbeat of 145. She is breech (again it doesn't matter).
Here are the pictures. We didn't get many of Nathan, but we lucked out and got to see Alexis' sweet face in 3D.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Luke with the electric train. He built that bridge. I thought it was pretty creative.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
We spent everyday on the beach, the boys more than me as it was too hot for a 5 month doubly pregnant woman. Luke went out in the ocean with Lee and jumped the [calm] waves, went on the boogy board (he got really good at it), frolicked in the water, and played in the sand (they built an awesome sand castle). We enjoyed the fireworks on the 3rd courtesy of Surf City. We went to Lee and his cousins' favorite childhood mini-golf place and played a round of mini-golf. The kids loved it, but I think the big kids loved it even more. We enjoyed some yummy ice cream after - there is something so great about a waffle cone of homemade ice cream at the beach.
It was a blast and hard to come home. I love making memories with our family. I look forward to going to the beach house every year and as our kids grow and our family grows it gets even more fun. Some of my favorite memories as a kid were our family vacations (especially to the beach).
Friday, July 2, 2010
I will still post things on this blog about the twins as they are a part of our family, but I will put detailed stuff about my pregnancy, their birth, and raising them on their blog. I hope you will check it out and follow if you like it. This blog will have more about our family and what we are up to like our life, vacations, pics, more about Luke (and the twins), and just be an "all about the Webber family" blog. I hope you still read and enjoy it.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
They checked my cervix and it was closed and very, very thick. They also did a non-stress test (NST) for about an hour in which they monitored the babies heartbeats, movements, and if I had contractions. They had the same strong heartbeats, moved the whole time, and I didn't have any contractions (or at least nothing they seemed concerned about). The hardest part was keeping Luke entertained for the duration.
She told me that any discomfort I have (ie groin pain, pelvic pain, leg pain) is completely normal with a subsequent pregnancy and with multiples. YAY! ;) She also said if I get Braxton Hicks contractions to lay down and drink a lot of water and see if they get better/worse. If worse, I am to call.
So everything looks really good. I am looking good for not having pre-term labor. YAY! I am really praying that no matter how uncomfortable I have to be that I can make it to 37-38 weeks and have healthy, hearty babies. I appreciate everyone's prayers. I know they are working. :)
Saturday, June 26, 2010
I go back for a check-up and in-office ultrasound in 4 weeks (25 weeks). I am also getting another "special" ultrasound at the hospital in 3 weeks (24 weeks). I can't wait to see the babies again. It's fun having twins in that you get tons of ultrasounds.
The coolest thing I heard was "24 weeks is the week of viability" which means that the babies have a good chance of survival then, not that they will be born then (God-willing), but it is nice to hear.
I am just so thankful that everything is going well. I can't wait to see the babies again in a few weeks. They are awesome miracles from God. :)
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Nathan is getting the Eli's Elephants bedding set and Alexis is getting the Lindsey Butterflies bedding set. We are going to use the crib sheets (plus some basic blue and pink sheets), crib skirts, bumpers, quilts (for decoration), and mobiles. We are going to paint the nursery a sage green (both bedding sets have a similar green in them). We are going to put up three valences (pink, blue, and sage) with coordinating rod hardware. We are going to use three colored (pink, blue, and sage) changing table pad covers. I think it is going to be precious.
Here is Nathan's Eli's Elephants bedding:
Friday, June 4, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
So after a few weeks of saying, "I don't think I want to do Ben. It doesn't do much for me," Lee and I started thinking of other options. I had liked Nathan and Elijah but really loved the way Nathan Elijah rolled off the tongue. Well we figured out a couple of new name combos that we absolutely love.
Here they are:
Nathan Reid - "he God has given" "red" - We picked Reid because that is my mom's maiden name and I was very close to my grandfather since my dad wasn't around. The fact that it means "red" is funny because our family color is red. We love red. We love NCSU and are Republicans so there you go. Plus if the baby has red hair like Lee (very low probability) it will fit even more perfectly.
Elijah Matthew - "my God is the Lord" "gift of God" - I love the way this name flows and the meanings of both names. I think this is a great name.
We are super excited that we will know what our babies are this Friday and can assign their names to them. We are still set on the girls names, Alexis Faith and Anna Grace. If they are one of each, we will do Alexis Faith and Nathan Reid.
Monday, May 3, 2010
As I sit here, it's 1:15am and for some reason I am not at all tired. I took a nap today (which is unusual at this point - not unusual the 1st trimester) and I was tired all day until about 10:00pm when I got a second wind. Daddy is sleeping on the couch and I am contemplating going to bed soon and laying there until I fall asleep. I thought before I did, I would take the time to write a letter to you guys (or girls, we don't know your genders yet).
I have to tell you that this is one of a few of the most amazing experiences of my life carrying the two of you.
The most amazing experience of my life was when I met the greatest man in my life, Jesus Christ. My prayer for you is that you will meet Jesus early in life, surrender your life to Him, and that you will try your best to walk daily in His will. No matter where you go, what you do, or who you are with, Jesus Christ can always be there with you, you just have to ask Him to dwell with you and in you everyday. He is the most important relationship you should have in your life. There is no one, not even your parents or future spouse, that can fill that space in your heart. Mommy knows because when I met Jesus I knew your awesome, unconditionally loving daddy 2 years and even he couldn't be what I needed.
The second greatest experience of my life was when I married your daddy. He is the kindest, sweetest, most loving man I have ever known. I knew I wanted to marry him only a few months after we started dating. No one ever treated me or loved me the way that your daddy did and does. When he asked me to marry him, my heart was full and I don't think I stopped smiling for days. The day that we committed our lives to one another, I knew that we both meant it and would be together forever. I couldn't wait to spend everyday of my life with him making memories and enjoying our children (and future grandchildren) together. He is the best husband anyone could even dream to have. I pray that you find a spouse that is surrendered to Jesus and loves Him with all his/her heart, who will love you unconditionally and that you will love unconditionally, that you respect and who respects you, who you can share all of life's ups and downs with, and who will be there old and grey when you are older.
The third greatest experience of my life was when I met your older brother. From the minute I found out I was pregnant with him until the day I met him for the first time, I had an instant connection to him. I always longed to be a mommy and was so thrilled that God in His infinite wisdom made me a mommy early in life. Even though daddy and I had only been married 19 months when Luke was born and we were young and just starting our lives, we enjoyed all of it. Seeing your daddy be a daddy made me love him even more (I didn't know that was possible). Your brother is a sweet, loving, kind, and fun boy and has been waiting for you guys for a couple of years. He asked me for a baby when he was less than 3 years old. He prayed for you guys before we even knew we were pregnant. He even wanted twins. Everyday that I have been pregnant, he has prayed for you, talked about you, rubbed my tummy, hugged my tummy, and kissed my tummy. He can't wait to meet you. You are going to be blessed to have him as an older brother and he will be blessed to have you as his younger siblings.
Being pregnant with you has been just a whirlwind of emotions. Finding out I was pregnant with you made me so happy and overwhelmed with thanksgiving that God had answered my prayers. I wanted you sooooooo bad and I remember crying out to God for months to give me babies. He is faithful to answer our prayers in His time and in His will. When I found out that I was carrying two babies, I was even more excited and thankful to God. God has a definite plan and purpose for our lives no matter what the situation may look like. We can never lose faith, because without faith we really have nothing. Everyday I have thought of you, prayed for you, and loved you. Everytime I get to see you on the ultrasounds or hear your heartbeats, I am filled with complete amazement and thankfulness. I am so thrilled to have two healthy babies growing in my body. I will do everything I can to ensure that you have a great start in life.
I can't wait to meet you guys and see your personalities and watch you grow. I am looking forward to our life together, teaching you and molding and shaping you (with God's guidance and leading) into amazing, Godly people. You are already in my heart, I can't wait to have you in my arms.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
We got the results back today and they were great.
Baby A has a 1/1,000+ chance of Down's and a 1/10,000+ chance of Trisomy.
Baby B has a 1/10,000+ chance of Down's and a 1/10,000+ chance of Trisomy.
All of these results mean that our chances are rare. I have the same chances as a 20 year old. Sounds good to me. :)
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
A few stories:
Friday night Lee and I were driving home from our date night and were talking about stuff and for some reason it really hit me that after the babies are born, Luke will turn 5 within just a couple of months. I have said it a million times, "I'll have a 5 year old with two newborns," but for some reason it just really hit me and I cried like a baby. I couldn't stop. Why do they have to grow up so fast? I have spent nearly everyday of his life with him nearly all day each day and I have enjoyed all the moments I have had with him, but it still feels like he cannot be turning 5. He needs to stop growing up on me.
Sunday morning we had an evangelist come to our church and he taught the gospel in a very neat way. At the end he did an altar call. I normally just sing and pray that others will go down that need to. This time I began crying and felt the Lord telling me to really pray for the babies. I put my hand on my belly and lifted them up from today in my womb to their birth and life and future and even their future spouses. I prayed that they would walk with the Lord and love Him everyday of their lives. I couldn't stop crying. It was one of the most intense prayers of my life. I was completely overcome with God's presence in my life and the lives of my babies.
I cry when I watch anything sappy on TV or movies. I cry when I think about how blessed we are. God is soooooo amazing! Our family and friends are so amazing! I can't even count all of my blessings as they are immeasurable.
Monday, April 26, 2010
So I got to see our precious babies again. YAY! They looked just as cute as they did on Friday. Today they were turned the other way. We saw Baby B moving around a lot. We saw B's heart just a flickering. She said it was very strong. Baby A looked like it was sleeping. Baby B "kicked" Baby A and A started moving around like crazy. We saw A's heart flickering as strong as Baby B's. B's looked really strong also.
I didn't change weight by a single ounce which the doctor said is fine since the babies look good and I started out overweight. We discussed weight gain and she recommended about 0.6 pounds a week until the end. She said the main thing is to eat healthy when I am hungry. That is my focus. I am going to watch the scale but I am going to eat when hungry and aim to eat a lot of good healthy things - fruits, veggies, dairy, protein, whole grains, and water. I don't want to gain more than necessary but want the babies to get everything they need.
She said to come back in 4 weeks for another check-up. I don't know if they will do another ultrasound then as I will be 17 weeks and we did one with Luke at 18 weeks and found out his gender. They sent me to a specialist last time since I had a cleft to have more detailed ultrasounds done. I am pretty sure they will do that again, but I wouldn't mind finding out a little early what the genders are.
I am so happy that I am doing great and the babies are doing great. God is awesome and our prayers are being answered.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Baby A - Measured 12 weeks, Heartbeat of 165Baby B - Measured 12 weeks, 3 days, Heartbeat of 165
Thursday, April 22, 2010
It started out with disappointment that I wasn't pregnant the previous month. We just decided, "Let's keep trying. God will make it happen in His perfect timing." Little did we know that in the next couple of weeks we would be pregnant again. I just knew it had happened even a few days after which coincided with my birthday. I was sick as a dog on my birthday and couldn't eat anything much for a few days. The next weekend we had my family birthday get together and I cooked most of the food, hosted it, and cleaned up a pretty good deal. I felt awful and passed out as soon as everyone left. I just had a strong feeling I was pregnant. Lee told me to wait until a test would work so I didn't spend a fortune on pregnancy tests (he knows me too well).
On Wednesday, February 24th, I took a test and it was faintly positive. I was psyched! I knew that it wasn't likely to get a positive (even a faint positive) unless I was in fact pregnant. I tested again (and again, and again, and again) until I got a strong positive on Friday. I called my OB to see about getting my HCG tested since I had the miscarriage in November. I was excited but didn't want to get too excited until I knew that things looked good. I went in on Monday, March 1st and got the test done. I couldn't wait to find out the results. She called me Tuesday after Bible study and said, "It's good." I immediately started crying I was so happy. She said, "They are 505 which is actually high." I was thrilled! I went back Tuesday, March 3rd, and got another test done. She called me and told me, "They tripled, they are 1550." I knew that was good news.
After much research on HCG (yes I am an avid google searcher), I realized that tripling could be a sign of twins. I mentioned it to Lee and joked about it a few times and he always said, "I don't see how it could be." Luke told me it was going to be twins a bunch and even told me what we should do with the nursery for a baby boy and a baby girl. It was precious and part of me thought, "It would be really cool to have twins since Luke will nearly be 5 when we have the baby and we want 3-4 kids." I never really thought it was possible.
I had tons of sickness and thought, "This must be a girl." I wasn't sick at all with Luke so I knew something was different. Little did I know what the real "something different" was.
On Thursday, March 25th, with full hearts and a little anxiety, we went for my check-up and ultrasound. I got all the practical, necessary things done while Lee and Luke waited in the waiting room and then they got everything ready and brought them in. We looked at the ultrasound and saw a blob. I was so happy. Then she measured it and we saw, heard, and measured the heartbeat. I was already crying I was so happy. Lee and Luke were stoked. Then she said, "And here's something you probably weren't expecting." I said, "TWINS?!?!" She said, "YES!" I said, "Are you serious?!?!" She said, "YES!" We measured it and we saw, heard, and measured the heartbeat. Two healthy babies. I was laughing and crying the rest of the ultrasound and appointment.
They gave us the run-down on twins. We were told there would be more doctor's appointments, more ultrasounds, and that we would probably only go until around 37 weeks. All I could really think about was, "Wow! God has truly answered our prayers with a double blessing." We took our pile of information and stack of pictures and went to the car and sat there calling family.
Each conversation went:
Us: "The appointment took longer than we thought. Sorry."
Them: "So what did you find out?"
Us: "Well we didn't see exactly what we thought we would see."
Them: "What is it?"
Us: "We are having twins!!!!"
Them: "No way. You are joking" (or something to that effect)
Us: "Seriously, we are having two babies." (and trying to convince them)
It was soooooo funny! Everyone was shocked!
I posted the pics and told everyone (because I can't stand to share good news). Everyone was surprised and excited for us.
I spent a few days being really anxious and after praying with my pastor, I felt a lot better. I continued to pray everytime I got scared or worried. I committed both babies to the Lord and prayed a hedge of protection around them. Knowing that God has His hands holding them makes me feel better anytime fear or worry tries to creep in.
The past few weeks have been filled with sickness, going to the bathroom all the time, and trying to eat whatever whenever I can. We've been working on and selecting baby names, working on collecting things we are going to need since we will have two babies this time, planning the nursery, and just being extremely excited about the future and our growing family.
As we embark on the 2nd trimester, I am really excited. Tomorrow is officially 12 weeks and we have a special ultrasound to see the babies again. Monday I have my 12 week check up. In a few weeks we will get to find out the genders. We will be spending the 2nd trimester picking out the rest of our baby needs, planning showers, having showers, and getting everything ready for the babies. I am really looking forward to it.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
I started assessing the potential costs and started freaking out. For some reason, it never dawned on me until the sickness went away (that took a lot of my thought and energy). I thought about cloth diapers vs disposable diapers and Lee and a few of my friends helped me realize that life is already going to be harder and crazier and I am going to have so much to do that adding the cleaning and laundering of cloth diapers will potentially be too much.
I am hoping to nurse as long as I can and hopefully have extra to pump and store for later use, but if we do need formula we will get it.
I am hoping to be able to make some of the baby food, but we will probably buy some.
What it all boils down to (and I have to remember everyday) is that God will provide for all of our needs. He never fails. Lee works really hard and is great with money (and as he reminded me), will take care of whatever we need. I just need to remember that everyday and rely on God for provision, strength, patience, and unconditional love no matter what. He wouldn't give us more than He knew we could handle with His help. GOD IS GOOD!!!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Specific Prayer Requests:
Healthy, Safe Pregnancy - As with any pregnancy there are certain risks, but with a multiple pregnancy, they are a bit higher. Please just pray that the babies and I will remain healthy and safe during this pregnancy. Pray for normal blood pressure and blood sugar for me. Pray that the babies develop properly and grow every minute they are in there.
No Anxiety for Me - At first the anxiety was very strong, but through prayer, it has ceased. I know that at any moment fear, worry, and doubt can creep in. Plese pray that those thoughts won't come in my mind and if they do that I would immediately pray and feel God's peace that passes understanding in my mind and heart.
No Physcial Defects for the Babies - I have a cleft palate and lip and I pray each pregnancy that my children will not have it. It's not that we can't handle it with God's help, but I just want my babies to have the best, healthiest lives possible.
No Bed Rest - We are praying that I will not have to be on bed rest (especially full bed rest) as that could potentially be difficult for our family. Please pray that I will not be on it, and if I have to be that the logistics work and our family will still run smoothly.
37 Week (or longer) Gestation - Multiple pregnancies are always early (don't usually go past 38 weeks). The goal now is 37 weeks. Since I couldn't have Luke without a c-section (didn't even dialate until I had all the pitocin they could give me in 26 hours), I am praying that I don't have pre-term labor with the twins. Our goal date is October 15th. We are planning to schedule a c-section in the 37th week (hopefully even longer). Please pray that if they do come early, that they will be healthy and safe and that we can deal with possibly having them in the NICU.
Safe Delivery - Please pray that the delivery will go as safely and easily as possible. Having a planned c-section should make things a lot easier and safer this time. Like I mentioned before we are praying for a schedule c-section after 37 weeks, but please pray that if I go in labor earlier or they have to stop labor, that we will be able to deal with it.
Healthy Babies - Please pray that the babies will be completely healthy when they are born - no lung issues, no birth issues, no things that can happen in general (jaundice). Luke was perfect and we are praying the babies will be also.
That the Babies Get to Come Home with Us When We Come Home - We are praying that the babies will be born at term and be healthy enough to come home without having to stay in the NICU. Please pray that if for some reason they don't that we can handle the emotional and physical issues that come with being apart.
That the Babies Will Be Able to Nurse with Little to No Problems - We are praying to nurse the babies pretty much exclusively. With Luke he and I did it with very little challenges (even the first few times). I pray that I will be patient and calm and that the babies will be great nursers early on so that we can nurse them and they can grow really well. Please pray that if for some reason I do have to use formula that I won't have guilt as new moms tend to feel bad if they can't do everything "just right".
That Without Sleep, We Will All Still Be Kind, Loving, and Patient - I know that at first sleep will be sparse and spread out, so please pray for strength, patience, kind words, and loving hearts when we are sleep deprived.
That the Babies Will Sleep Well Early On - Luke slept through the night (8 hours straight) at 8 weeks and by 12 weeks was sleeping 12 hours straight. Please pray that the babies are able to do this ASAP so that we can enjoy our lives with them and in general even more ASAP.
That Luke Will Adjust to Being a Brother/Not An Only Child Anymore - I know Luke is excited, but I am sure that he will have a few issues with not being the only child and having 2 babies that demand mommy and daddy's attention all the time. Please pray that he will adjust well, that we will find patches of time to spend with just him, and that he will be as helpful as he says he will be.
That Our Home Will Still Run Smoothly - Please pray that we are still able to keep up with housework, laundry, and meals. I know it won't be perfect, but pray that we can at least keep the house manageable.
I know that I am very specific and a lot of my requests sound like they are to make my life easier (and some of them are), but I also know that God knows greater what we need than we do. Please pray God's will for our family, the twins, and our lives. If anything I have requested is out of His perfect will for our life, I pray that the Holy Spirit will intercede and that God will do whatever needs to be done to glorify Him and keep us dependent on Him everyday. Please pray that we remember in everything, even the bad stuff, to glorify God and be completely dependent on Him for our every need.
To Him be all the glory, honor, and praise for this immense blessing in our lives. We are amazed by His greatness everyday. He loves us sooooooo much.
Monday, April 12, 2010
#1 - "You mean you might want more kids after the twins?" or "I guess this means you guys are done?"
I can't stand this question. Lee and I have surrendered our family growth decisions to the Lord. He is guiding our lives especially in this area. Now this doesn't mean we are just going to do things that make babies and see if God gives us kids because I can tell you the answer would probably be, "Yes, and every year," as we get pregnant really easily. We mean that we are praying over it and letting Him show us if He believes we should have more kids. It doesn't mean a specific number or stopping point. Even with the twins on the way, we are not closing that door. If God tells us to "be fruitful and multiply" again after the twins then we will. If He shows us that we are done, then we will be done. I am not letting popular opinion dictate our family.
#2 - "You mean you are going to still try to homeschool Luke?" (not said in a positive way)
Again, I can't stand this question. The Lord put homeschooling on my heart before I even knew I was pregnant with Luke and after 5+ years of praying, we decided that homeschooling was the right thing for Luke and most likely for our future children. The reasons are very strong and the calling of the Lord is all that really matters to me. I do know there are things that might be more challenging with having two almost one-year-olds, but I don't see why we should just get out of God's calling and forget all the reasons we have for homeschooling.
#3 - "You got lucky with Luke. There is no way you can schedule the twins like you did Luke."
First of all, Luke was a great baby, but we worked very hard to get him on a schedule. I haven't really met anyone who just "got lucky" with their kids. Babies require a lot of guidance to be on a schedule. We are planning to do everything we did with Luke and have already talked to moms of multiples who followed the same book (BabyWise) with singletons and twins and had great success. We know it might not go as well as it did with Luke as we will have two individuals with potentially different needs, but we are going to try our hardest to schedule the babies to fit in with our family's schedule. We plan to be able to live our lives still.
There are probably more, but these are the three that drive me the craziest right now. I apologize if this post sounds rude, but I get tired of people's rude comments/questions and this is a blog where I share it all, good or bad. This just happens to be the bad.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
We had to consider what 2 girls' names would go together yet stand on their own (same for 2 boys), what would be good brother/sister combos, how to keep them from sounding too cheesy, and we took the usual things (popularity, meaning) into consideration.
Well, after much thinking and praying, we have our final four baby names.
Alexis Faith (means "defender" "faith")
Anna Grace (means "grace" "grace")
Nathan Elijah (means "he God has given" "my God is Lord")
Ben Alexander (means "son" "defender")
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
When I met Lee I was 18 years old, had just graduated highschool (literally the day before), was wide-eyed and immature, and had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. He was 20, in college at NC State working on a double major and master's degree in engineering, was mature, hardworking, and knew exactly what he wanted out of life. I was completely drawn to him. To be honest, I had never met anyone like him. He brought out the best in me, making me want to work hard in school, helping me find direction, and to be honest, helping me to grow up. I owe so much of my confidence, security, and ability to finish things that I start to him.
The first two years of our relationship we dated long-distance (year one - me in Boone, him in Raleigh, year two - me in Greensboro, him in Raleigh). Most people told us that "long-distance relationships never work because one person (or both) eventually cheats or gets tired of it." Well fortunately for Lee and I, we didn't care what other people thought. We were 100% committed to each other from the day we officially started dating. We spent our weeks focusing on school, talking an hour each day on the phone, and some of our weekends in the same town as each other going on dates. It wasn't easy, but we both loved each other and trusted each other so much, that it was worth it.
When we got engaged, it was one of the most exciting experiences of my life. I knew I wanted to spend my whole life with Lee. I knew he felt the exact same way. Two weeks after we got engaged, I surrendered my life and he re-committed his life to Jesus. I am so thankful that we did this before we got married. I know we would have stuck together, but by both being Christians, we committed our marriage to Christ and had that as our foundation from day one.
The day I married Lee was one of the best days of my life. I knew when we said "I do" it meant more than just words. It was a complete commitment to one another and to God that whatever came our way, through God's strength and wisdom and our conviction to be together, we would work through it and be a stronger couple for it.
We've been married almost 6 years, been through our ups and downs, experienced joys and disappointments, had a child together and have two more on the way, gone from small, less-than-awesome apartment to bigger, awesome house, and everyday I am more and more amazed that God blessed me with this man.
Lee has such a strong character. He is a hardworker and never complains about his job, but is thankful that he is able to provide for his family. He is tenacious and never gives up no matter how hard something gets. He is the best family man I have ever met, spending time with Luke and I everyday and loving every minute of watching his family grow. He is so selfless, doing for others without thinking of what he will get in return. He takes his commitments seriously and does what he says he will do. He loves the Lord, me, Luke, his future children, family, and friends. He is the greatest person I have ever known and I look forward to spending the rest of my days with him as my husband, partner, and friend.
***During My Pregnancy Thankfulness***
Since I have been pregnant and had all the symptoms that go along with it, Lee hasn't complained once about the messiness of the house, the lack of home-cooked meals, or about having to do things he normally doesn't have to do. He just picks up the slack, picks up dinner, and picks me up when I feel awful. He takes his vow of "in sickness and in health" seriously. I am forever grateful to have him during this (and every other) time of my life.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Here are the frequently asked questions:
1) Do twins run in your family?
I get this question pretty much everytime I tell people we are expecting twins. After we found out, I found out that there have been 4 sets of fraternal twins (which are the only ones genetically determined - identical are not genetically determined, they just happen randomly) in my mom's extended family. My maternal grandfather had two sets of twin siblings and of his 8 brothers and sisters, two of the grandchildren (my generation) had twins. So, I guess it is genetic. Also, I have read that overweight women (which I am right now) can potentially release two eggs (how you get fraternal twins).
2) Are they identical or fraternal?
I really think they are fraternal. They are in individual sacs with a thick membrane between which is a big hint that they should be fraternal (not always, but generally). I am guessing this also with my genetics. If one is a boy and one is a girl we will know for sure (as you can't be identical twins and different sexes). Until they are born, we might not know 100% and I have even heard of cases where people still don't know for sure even when they are born.
3) Do you have a preference of the genders?
Lee and I both are very non-caring of what genders our children are. We know that God gives us the family He wants for us and whether that be 1 boy and two girls, 2 boys and 1 girl, or all boys after the twins are born, we are fine with anything. I do have a strong feeling at least 1 will be a girl, but it is hard to know for sure with twins as a lot of what I am experiencing is because they are twins.
4) Will you find out the genders?
If they cooperate, yes. We are both major planners (in case you couldn't tell) and we want to do as much gender-specific things as possible. I don't want the babies to be wearing or living in green and yellow all the time.
5) Do you have any names picked out?
We have two solid girls' names - Alexis Faith and Anna Grace
We are still working on boys' names - Nathan Elijah (like a lot), Owen Isaiah (???), Ben _____ (???) - open to ideas (we want at least one name to be Biblical)
6) Will you still send Luke to preschool in the Fall?
Yes. We thought about it a lot, especially the financial aspect since preschool is $165 a month and we are adding two mouths to feed and two bottoms to change 8-10 times a day, but we figured out that if we didn't send him, he would be sitting at home bored a lot. We think it will be great for him to have interaction and something separate from the twins 9 hours a week. Lee will be driving him and I (or whoever is staying with me the first few weeks) will pick him up.
7) Will you still homeschool Luke next year?
Yes. Our reasons for homeschooling are very strong and they aren't going to change just for my convenience. In case people are wondering what the reasons are, 1) I don't want Luke indoctrinated from 5 years old with the things they teach in public school until he has a really strong understanding of Biblical truths so that he can discern for himself truth vs lies, 2) I don't think 7 hours away from home is necessary for kindergarten when we can accomplish the same (or more) in 2-3 hours, 3) I want to spend time with Luke molding him into a Godly boy, and 4) I really want him to be a part of his siblings lives and if he goes to school all day he won't be. I don't mean to sound harsh, but a lot of people have given me the impression that all of my previous plans will change just because we are having two babies. I am very solid in my view of homeschooling and even though I know it will be challenging with two little ones, it is not impossible. With God, all things are possible. Plus, God has called me to homeschool and unless He "uncalls" me, I am going with it.
8) Will you breastfeed the babies or use formula?
My hope, prayer, and plan is to breastfeed the babies. I have been learning all sorts of tips from friends and books on how to "tandem nurse" (nurse them both at the same time). My theory is I want to do for both what I did for one. I am also a realist and realize that it might not go perfectly and I might not be able to do it a year (I only nursed Luke for 3 months), but I am going to give it all that I have to give them the best start possible.
9) Will you schedule the babies like you scheduled Luke?
Background: We followed BabyWise with Luke and he did beautifully with it. He ate and slept like an all-star. He was sleeping 8 hours straight at 8 weeks and 12 hours straight at 12 weeks and has always been a great sleeper (including naps).
Again, my hope, prayer, and plan is to schedule the babies. I have been learning all sorts of tips from friends and books on how to feed them at the same time, have them play at the same time, and have them sleep at the same time. Otherwise, my life will be totally consumed by just the basics of the twins all day and all night and I have other commitments (Lee, Luke, household duties, and hopefully a little time to myself). Again, I want to do for two what I did for one. Again, I realize it might not go perfectly and may take more time and effort, but I am going to do my best to get them on the same schedule ASAP to make life better for everyone.
10) How will you set up your house for two babies?
Background: We bought a 5-bedroom house last year so we have lots of room. We are currently using the master bedroom, Luke has a bedroom, our office is in a bedroom, the nursery is set up in a bedroom, and the guest room is set up in a bedroom. We also have a living room on the first floor and a playroom on the third floor.
We are planning to use a pack-n-play with a built-in changing table and bassinet feature in our bedroom where the babies will sleep together for a couple months. We will also set another pack-n-play (same model) up downstairs in the living room so we don't live in the master bedroom. Their nursery will have two cribs, a changing table, armoire, and glider for when they move into their own cribs. Around the house we are going to place various baby holders/entertainers (bouncy seats, swings, Bumbos, exersaucers, blankets with soft toys) so they can have something to do (and somewhere for me to put them down) everywhere. Eventually we might put them in separate rooms if they want.
11) Are you going to have more kids?
Background: Lee and I always wanted 3-4 kids (leaning more towards 4 kids).
For now, we aren't going to decide as we both believe that God should lead that decision.
Those are the FAQs for now. I will share more as they come. If you have a question you would like me to answer, please comment or email me (firstname.lastname@example.org). I am always happy to answer any questions people might have.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
This is a picture of both of the babies.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Main Things I Have Been Thinking:
1) Everything related to the pregnancy - "Will they be safe, healthy, grow right?" "How long will I be able to carry them, full-term, longer?" "How big will I get?"
2) Everything related to the birth - "When will it be?" "How long will they be in the hospital?"
3) Everything related to the early stages - "Will we get sleep?" "How will we feed them?" "Will they wake each other up?" "Will they wake Luke up?" "Will they get on a routine like Luke did?"
4) Everything related to logistics - "How will we set up our house, the nursery, our lives for these babies?" "Will I be able to pick Luke up on time from preschool with two babies?" "Will we be able to go to church before the babies are 1?" "How will we keep all that laundry up?" "How many diapers are we going to go through each day/week?"
It's overwhelming when I think too much. I am just going to take it little by little. Just today my awesome sister told me she would loan me her crib, glider, highchair, and carseat. My mom is going to loan me her pack n play that matches the one I have. I know that God will provide for our every need. I know that people will do everything they can to help us. I also know that I have the most amazing husband who will do anything to make our lives easier and better.
Please pray for my potential to worry, the health of me and the babies, and that all of those questions will be answered in due time. :)