To My Babies,
As I sit here, it's 1:15am and for some reason I am not at all tired. I took a nap today (which is unusual at this point - not unusual the 1st trimester) and I was tired all day until about 10:00pm when I got a second wind. Daddy is sleeping on the couch and I am contemplating going to bed soon and laying there until I fall asleep. I thought before I did, I would take the time to write a letter to you guys (or girls, we don't know your genders yet).
I have to tell you that this is one of a few of the most amazing experiences of my life carrying the two of you.
The most amazing experience of my life was when I met the greatest man in my life, Jesus Christ. My prayer for you is that you will meet Jesus early in life, surrender your life to Him, and that you will try your best to walk daily in His will. No matter where you go, what you do, or who you are with, Jesus Christ can always be there with you, you just have to ask Him to dwell with you and in you everyday. He is the most important relationship you should have in your life. There is no one, not even your parents or future spouse, that can fill that space in your heart. Mommy knows because when I met Jesus I knew your awesome, unconditionally loving daddy 2 years and even he couldn't be what I needed.
The second greatest experience of my life was when I married your daddy. He is the kindest, sweetest, most loving man I have ever known. I knew I wanted to marry him only a few months after we started dating. No one ever treated me or loved me the way that your daddy did and does. When he asked me to marry him, my heart was full and I don't think I stopped smiling for days. The day that we committed our lives to one another, I knew that we both meant it and would be together forever. I couldn't wait to spend everyday of my life with him making memories and enjoying our children (and future grandchildren) together. He is the best husband anyone could even dream to have. I pray that you find a spouse that is surrendered to Jesus and loves Him with all his/her heart, who will love you unconditionally and that you will love unconditionally, that you respect and who respects you, who you can share all of life's ups and downs with, and who will be there old and grey when you are older.
The third greatest experience of my life was when I met your older brother. From the minute I found out I was pregnant with him until the day I met him for the first time, I had an instant connection to him. I always longed to be a mommy and was so thrilled that God in His infinite wisdom made me a mommy early in life. Even though daddy and I had only been married 19 months when Luke was born and we were young and just starting our lives, we enjoyed all of it. Seeing your daddy be a daddy made me love him even more (I didn't know that was possible). Your brother is a sweet, loving, kind, and fun boy and has been waiting for you guys for a couple of years. He asked me for a baby when he was less than 3 years old. He prayed for you guys before we even knew we were pregnant. He even wanted twins. Everyday that I have been pregnant, he has prayed for you, talked about you, rubbed my tummy, hugged my tummy, and kissed my tummy. He can't wait to meet you. You are going to be blessed to have him as an older brother and he will be blessed to have you as his younger siblings.
Being pregnant with you has been just a whirlwind of emotions. Finding out I was pregnant with you made me so happy and overwhelmed with thanksgiving that God had answered my prayers. I wanted you sooooooo bad and I remember crying out to God for months to give me babies. He is faithful to answer our prayers in His time and in His will. When I found out that I was carrying two babies, I was even more excited and thankful to God. God has a definite plan and purpose for our lives no matter what the situation may look like. We can never lose faith, because without faith we really have nothing. Everyday I have thought of you, prayed for you, and loved you. Everytime I get to see you on the ultrasounds or hear your heartbeats, I am filled with complete amazement and thankfulness. I am so thrilled to have two healthy babies growing in my body. I will do everything I can to ensure that you have a great start in life.
I can't wait to meet you guys and see your personalities and watch you grow. I am looking forward to our life together, teaching you and molding and shaping you (with God's guidance and leading) into amazing, Godly people. You are already in my heart, I can't wait to have you in my arms.
Love,
Your Momma
Monday, May 3, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Babies' Down's and Trisomy Results Great
Last Friday we went for a special ultrasound and we had extra analysis done of my blood, their individual neck thicknesses, and my age to determine each baby's chances of having Down's Syndrome or Trisomy.
We got the results back today and they were great.
Baby A has a 1/1,000+ chance of Down's and a 1/10,000+ chance of Trisomy.
Baby B has a 1/10,000+ chance of Down's and a 1/10,000+ chance of Trisomy.
All of these results mean that our chances are rare. I have the same chances as a 20 year old. Sounds good to me. :)
We got the results back today and they were great.
Baby A has a 1/1,000+ chance of Down's and a 1/10,000+ chance of Trisomy.
Baby B has a 1/10,000+ chance of Down's and a 1/10,000+ chance of Trisomy.
All of these results mean that our chances are rare. I have the same chances as a 20 year old. Sounds good to me. :)
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Overcome with Hormones, Emotions, and Thankfulness
Maybe it's the hormones, maybe it's the fact that I am normally an emotional person, or maybe it's the overwhelming feeling of how awesome God is and how he orchestrates everything perfectly in my life according to His plan and His will. I don't know, but I do know that I can cry at the drop of a hat. It's not just tears but a complete feeling that overcomes me and I can't control the tears.
A few stories:
Friday night Lee and I were driving home from our date night and were talking about stuff and for some reason it really hit me that after the babies are born, Luke will turn 5 within just a couple of months. I have said it a million times, "I'll have a 5 year old with two newborns," but for some reason it just really hit me and I cried like a baby. I couldn't stop. Why do they have to grow up so fast? I have spent nearly everyday of his life with him nearly all day each day and I have enjoyed all the moments I have had with him, but it still feels like he cannot be turning 5. He needs to stop growing up on me.
Sunday morning we had an evangelist come to our church and he taught the gospel in a very neat way. At the end he did an altar call. I normally just sing and pray that others will go down that need to. This time I began crying and felt the Lord telling me to really pray for the babies. I put my hand on my belly and lifted them up from today in my womb to their birth and life and future and even their future spouses. I prayed that they would walk with the Lord and love Him everyday of their lives. I couldn't stop crying. It was one of the most intense prayers of my life. I was completely overcome with God's presence in my life and the lives of my babies.
I cry when I watch anything sappy on TV or movies. I cry when I think about how blessed we are. God is soooooo amazing! Our family and friends are so amazing! I can't even count all of my blessings as they are immeasurable.
A few stories:
Friday night Lee and I were driving home from our date night and were talking about stuff and for some reason it really hit me that after the babies are born, Luke will turn 5 within just a couple of months. I have said it a million times, "I'll have a 5 year old with two newborns," but for some reason it just really hit me and I cried like a baby. I couldn't stop. Why do they have to grow up so fast? I have spent nearly everyday of his life with him nearly all day each day and I have enjoyed all the moments I have had with him, but it still feels like he cannot be turning 5. He needs to stop growing up on me.
Sunday morning we had an evangelist come to our church and he taught the gospel in a very neat way. At the end he did an altar call. I normally just sing and pray that others will go down that need to. This time I began crying and felt the Lord telling me to really pray for the babies. I put my hand on my belly and lifted them up from today in my womb to their birth and life and future and even their future spouses. I prayed that they would walk with the Lord and love Him everyday of their lives. I couldn't stop crying. It was one of the most intense prayers of my life. I was completely overcome with God's presence in my life and the lives of my babies.
I cry when I watch anything sappy on TV or movies. I cry when I think about how blessed we are. God is soooooo amazing! Our family and friends are so amazing! I can't even count all of my blessings as they are immeasurable.
Monday, April 26, 2010
12 Week Doctor's Appointment and Bonus Ultrasound
Today I went to my regular OB for a 12 week check-up. I figured I would just get the usual things done - weight, blood pressure, urine check, and a doppler heartbeat check. I got lucky and the doctor wanted to do an ultrasound to really make sure she saw both hearts beating and could tell their heartbeats were strong.
So I got to see our precious babies again. YAY! They looked just as cute as they did on Friday. Today they were turned the other way. We saw Baby B moving around a lot. We saw B's heart just a flickering. She said it was very strong. Baby A looked like it was sleeping. Baby B "kicked" Baby A and A started moving around like crazy. We saw A's heart flickering as strong as Baby B's. B's looked really strong also.
I didn't change weight by a single ounce which the doctor said is fine since the babies look good and I started out overweight. We discussed weight gain and she recommended about 0.6 pounds a week until the end. She said the main thing is to eat healthy when I am hungry. That is my focus. I am going to watch the scale but I am going to eat when hungry and aim to eat a lot of good healthy things - fruits, veggies, dairy, protein, whole grains, and water. I don't want to gain more than necessary but want the babies to get everything they need.
She said to come back in 4 weeks for another check-up. I don't know if they will do another ultrasound then as I will be 17 weeks and we did one with Luke at 18 weeks and found out his gender. They sent me to a specialist last time since I had a cleft to have more detailed ultrasounds done. I am pretty sure they will do that again, but I wouldn't mind finding out a little early what the genders are.
I am so happy that I am doing great and the babies are doing great. God is awesome and our prayers are being answered.
So I got to see our precious babies again. YAY! They looked just as cute as they did on Friday. Today they were turned the other way. We saw Baby B moving around a lot. We saw B's heart just a flickering. She said it was very strong. Baby A looked like it was sleeping. Baby B "kicked" Baby A and A started moving around like crazy. We saw A's heart flickering as strong as Baby B's. B's looked really strong also.
I didn't change weight by a single ounce which the doctor said is fine since the babies look good and I started out overweight. We discussed weight gain and she recommended about 0.6 pounds a week until the end. She said the main thing is to eat healthy when I am hungry. That is my focus. I am going to watch the scale but I am going to eat when hungry and aim to eat a lot of good healthy things - fruits, veggies, dairy, protein, whole grains, and water. I don't want to gain more than necessary but want the babies to get everything they need.
She said to come back in 4 weeks for another check-up. I don't know if they will do another ultrasound then as I will be 17 weeks and we did one with Luke at 18 weeks and found out his gender. They sent me to a specialist last time since I had a cleft to have more detailed ultrasounds done. I am pretty sure they will do that again, but I wouldn't mind finding out a little early what the genders are.
I am so happy that I am doing great and the babies are doing great. God is awesome and our prayers are being answered.
Friday, April 23, 2010
12 Week Ultrasound
We had our 12 week ultrasound today. It was awesome! Both babies are perfectly healthy. They measured them, looked at them, checked their heartbeats, and checked for Down's Syndrome indicators. Both babies measured great, looked great, had heartbeats of 165, and had no indicators of Down's Syndrome. I got my blood drawn for further analysis and will find out Tuesday what the chances of either baby having Down's Syndrome. We have no reason to think that either should. It was awesome. Here are the pictures.
Baby A - Measured 12 weeks, Heartbeat of 165
Baby B - Measured 12 weeks, 3 days, Heartbeat of 165
Both Babies
Baby A - Measured 12 weeks, Heartbeat of 165
Baby B - Measured 12 weeks, 3 days, Heartbeat of 165
Both Babies
Thursday, April 22, 2010
1st Trimester Review
Since tomorrow officially starts my 2nd trimester, I thought that I would do a review of my 1st trimester. There has been a lot of excitement and surprises (not to mention lots of morning sickness and other pregnancy symptoms). It's been amazing and overwhelming.
It started out with disappointment that I wasn't pregnant the previous month. We just decided, "Let's keep trying. God will make it happen in His perfect timing." Little did we know that in the next couple of weeks we would be pregnant again. I just knew it had happened even a few days after which coincided with my birthday. I was sick as a dog on my birthday and couldn't eat anything much for a few days. The next weekend we had my family birthday get together and I cooked most of the food, hosted it, and cleaned up a pretty good deal. I felt awful and passed out as soon as everyone left. I just had a strong feeling I was pregnant. Lee told me to wait until a test would work so I didn't spend a fortune on pregnancy tests (he knows me too well).
On Wednesday, February 24th, I took a test and it was faintly positive. I was psyched! I knew that it wasn't likely to get a positive (even a faint positive) unless I was in fact pregnant. I tested again (and again, and again, and again) until I got a strong positive on Friday. I called my OB to see about getting my HCG tested since I had the miscarriage in November. I was excited but didn't want to get too excited until I knew that things looked good. I went in on Monday, March 1st and got the test done. I couldn't wait to find out the results. She called me Tuesday after Bible study and said, "It's good." I immediately started crying I was so happy. She said, "They are 505 which is actually high." I was thrilled! I went back Tuesday, March 3rd, and got another test done. She called me and told me, "They tripled, they are 1550." I knew that was good news.
After much research on HCG (yes I am an avid google searcher), I realized that tripling could be a sign of twins. I mentioned it to Lee and joked about it a few times and he always said, "I don't see how it could be." Luke told me it was going to be twins a bunch and even told me what we should do with the nursery for a baby boy and a baby girl. It was precious and part of me thought, "It would be really cool to have twins since Luke will nearly be 5 when we have the baby and we want 3-4 kids." I never really thought it was possible.
I had tons of sickness and thought, "This must be a girl." I wasn't sick at all with Luke so I knew something was different. Little did I know what the real "something different" was.
On Thursday, March 25th, with full hearts and a little anxiety, we went for my check-up and ultrasound. I got all the practical, necessary things done while Lee and Luke waited in the waiting room and then they got everything ready and brought them in. We looked at the ultrasound and saw a blob. I was so happy. Then she measured it and we saw, heard, and measured the heartbeat. I was already crying I was so happy. Lee and Luke were stoked. Then she said, "And here's something you probably weren't expecting." I said, "TWINS?!?!" She said, "YES!" I said, "Are you serious?!?!" She said, "YES!" We measured it and we saw, heard, and measured the heartbeat. Two healthy babies. I was laughing and crying the rest of the ultrasound and appointment.
They gave us the run-down on twins. We were told there would be more doctor's appointments, more ultrasounds, and that we would probably only go until around 37 weeks. All I could really think about was, "Wow! God has truly answered our prayers with a double blessing." We took our pile of information and stack of pictures and went to the car and sat there calling family.
Each conversation went:
Us: "The appointment took longer than we thought. Sorry."
Them: "So what did you find out?"
Us: "Well we didn't see exactly what we thought we would see."
Them: "What is it?"
Us: "We are having twins!!!!"
Them: "No way. You are joking" (or something to that effect)
Us: "Seriously, we are having two babies." (and trying to convince them)
It was soooooo funny! Everyone was shocked!
I posted the pics and told everyone (because I can't stand to share good news). Everyone was surprised and excited for us.
I spent a few days being really anxious and after praying with my pastor, I felt a lot better. I continued to pray everytime I got scared or worried. I committed both babies to the Lord and prayed a hedge of protection around them. Knowing that God has His hands holding them makes me feel better anytime fear or worry tries to creep in.
The past few weeks have been filled with sickness, going to the bathroom all the time, and trying to eat whatever whenever I can. We've been working on and selecting baby names, working on collecting things we are going to need since we will have two babies this time, planning the nursery, and just being extremely excited about the future and our growing family.
As we embark on the 2nd trimester, I am really excited. Tomorrow is officially 12 weeks and we have a special ultrasound to see the babies again. Monday I have my 12 week check up. In a few weeks we will get to find out the genders. We will be spending the 2nd trimester picking out the rest of our baby needs, planning showers, having showers, and getting everything ready for the babies. I am really looking forward to it.
It started out with disappointment that I wasn't pregnant the previous month. We just decided, "Let's keep trying. God will make it happen in His perfect timing." Little did we know that in the next couple of weeks we would be pregnant again. I just knew it had happened even a few days after which coincided with my birthday. I was sick as a dog on my birthday and couldn't eat anything much for a few days. The next weekend we had my family birthday get together and I cooked most of the food, hosted it, and cleaned up a pretty good deal. I felt awful and passed out as soon as everyone left. I just had a strong feeling I was pregnant. Lee told me to wait until a test would work so I didn't spend a fortune on pregnancy tests (he knows me too well).
On Wednesday, February 24th, I took a test and it was faintly positive. I was psyched! I knew that it wasn't likely to get a positive (even a faint positive) unless I was in fact pregnant. I tested again (and again, and again, and again) until I got a strong positive on Friday. I called my OB to see about getting my HCG tested since I had the miscarriage in November. I was excited but didn't want to get too excited until I knew that things looked good. I went in on Monday, March 1st and got the test done. I couldn't wait to find out the results. She called me Tuesday after Bible study and said, "It's good." I immediately started crying I was so happy. She said, "They are 505 which is actually high." I was thrilled! I went back Tuesday, March 3rd, and got another test done. She called me and told me, "They tripled, they are 1550." I knew that was good news.
After much research on HCG (yes I am an avid google searcher), I realized that tripling could be a sign of twins. I mentioned it to Lee and joked about it a few times and he always said, "I don't see how it could be." Luke told me it was going to be twins a bunch and even told me what we should do with the nursery for a baby boy and a baby girl. It was precious and part of me thought, "It would be really cool to have twins since Luke will nearly be 5 when we have the baby and we want 3-4 kids." I never really thought it was possible.
I had tons of sickness and thought, "This must be a girl." I wasn't sick at all with Luke so I knew something was different. Little did I know what the real "something different" was.
On Thursday, March 25th, with full hearts and a little anxiety, we went for my check-up and ultrasound. I got all the practical, necessary things done while Lee and Luke waited in the waiting room and then they got everything ready and brought them in. We looked at the ultrasound and saw a blob. I was so happy. Then she measured it and we saw, heard, and measured the heartbeat. I was already crying I was so happy. Lee and Luke were stoked. Then she said, "And here's something you probably weren't expecting." I said, "TWINS?!?!" She said, "YES!" I said, "Are you serious?!?!" She said, "YES!" We measured it and we saw, heard, and measured the heartbeat. Two healthy babies. I was laughing and crying the rest of the ultrasound and appointment.
They gave us the run-down on twins. We were told there would be more doctor's appointments, more ultrasounds, and that we would probably only go until around 37 weeks. All I could really think about was, "Wow! God has truly answered our prayers with a double blessing." We took our pile of information and stack of pictures and went to the car and sat there calling family.
Each conversation went:
Us: "The appointment took longer than we thought. Sorry."
Them: "So what did you find out?"
Us: "Well we didn't see exactly what we thought we would see."
Them: "What is it?"
Us: "We are having twins!!!!"
Them: "No way. You are joking" (or something to that effect)
Us: "Seriously, we are having two babies." (and trying to convince them)
It was soooooo funny! Everyone was shocked!
I posted the pics and told everyone (because I can't stand to share good news). Everyone was surprised and excited for us.
I spent a few days being really anxious and after praying with my pastor, I felt a lot better. I continued to pray everytime I got scared or worried. I committed both babies to the Lord and prayed a hedge of protection around them. Knowing that God has His hands holding them makes me feel better anytime fear or worry tries to creep in.
The past few weeks have been filled with sickness, going to the bathroom all the time, and trying to eat whatever whenever I can. We've been working on and selecting baby names, working on collecting things we are going to need since we will have two babies this time, planning the nursery, and just being extremely excited about the future and our growing family.
As we embark on the 2nd trimester, I am really excited. Tomorrow is officially 12 weeks and we have a special ultrasound to see the babies again. Monday I have my 12 week check up. In a few weeks we will get to find out the genders. We will be spending the 2nd trimester picking out the rest of our baby needs, planning showers, having showers, and getting everything ready for the babies. I am really looking forward to it.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
A Little Freak Out Last Night
For some reason last night I started thinking about how much things are going to potentially cost when the babies arrive. It's not the big things as we have most of them and/or are borrowing/receiving stuff from people, it's the day-to-day, monthly things like diapers, wipes, formula (potentially), and baby food (potentially).
I started assessing the potential costs and started freaking out. For some reason, it never dawned on me until the sickness went away (that took a lot of my thought and energy). I thought about cloth diapers vs disposable diapers and Lee and a few of my friends helped me realize that life is already going to be harder and crazier and I am going to have so much to do that adding the cleaning and laundering of cloth diapers will potentially be too much.
I am hoping to nurse as long as I can and hopefully have extra to pump and store for later use, but if we do need formula we will get it.
I am hoping to be able to make some of the baby food, but we will probably buy some.
What it all boils down to (and I have to remember everyday) is that God will provide for all of our needs. He never fails. Lee works really hard and is great with money (and as he reminded me), will take care of whatever we need. I just need to remember that everyday and rely on God for provision, strength, patience, and unconditional love no matter what. He wouldn't give us more than He knew we could handle with His help. GOD IS GOOD!!!
I started assessing the potential costs and started freaking out. For some reason, it never dawned on me until the sickness went away (that took a lot of my thought and energy). I thought about cloth diapers vs disposable diapers and Lee and a few of my friends helped me realize that life is already going to be harder and crazier and I am going to have so much to do that adding the cleaning and laundering of cloth diapers will potentially be too much.
I am hoping to nurse as long as I can and hopefully have extra to pump and store for later use, but if we do need formula we will get it.
I am hoping to be able to make some of the baby food, but we will probably buy some.
What it all boils down to (and I have to remember everyday) is that God will provide for all of our needs. He never fails. Lee works really hard and is great with money (and as he reminded me), will take care of whatever we need. I just need to remember that everyday and rely on God for provision, strength, patience, and unconditional love no matter what. He wouldn't give us more than He knew we could handle with His help. GOD IS GOOD!!!
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